SELF WORTH, what the hell does that really mean?

Money and God? So what’s up with that? #4
Self Worth.
Heard it all before…OK…..What the hell does that really mean?

I have regularly had to remember a particular story for the sake of my own survival and self worth as a creative individual in a world full of criticism and judgment, in Australia to begin with… the land of  “The Tall Poppy Syndrome!”

What’s that? That’s when everyone around you who is supposed to love and support you wants to ‘bring you down to size’… for your own good of course!
The story is a Grimm’s Fairy Tale I heard when I was very young. It stuck with me because of it’s profound yet simple message.
It goes something like this…(I am sure it has been changed in small details over the years but the moral is the same!)

There was once a small family, an old man and his wife who were raising a young orphaned boy. They had little money to survive the winter so it was decided the old man and the young boy would take the couples one and only donkey to market and sell it for the best price they could. Then they would buy their winter provisions so they could survive another year.

The market was miles away. They had to wake before sunrise and prepare to travel a long way through many villages to the big central market where they could get the best price.
The old man set off for the market with a the young boy perched atop the donkey. As they passed through the first village he could hear the villages whispering to eat other out loud…’what a cruel young man, making that poor old fellow walk while he sits up there like little Lord Muck!’

The old man was confused and distracted. Perhaps these people had a point, he was getting tired. He also didn’t want anyone to think so poorly of his young charge, so on the outskirts of the village they changed positions and set out upon the next part of the journey
with the old man riding the donkey and the young boy walking alongside. As they passed through this next village, (despite the old mans confidence in the new seating arrangement) a remarkable thing happened, the villages were all whispering once again!

This time they were saying, ‘look at that terrible old man, sitting up there like the king of the castle while that poor little boy walks in the dust! He should be ashamed of himself!’
On the outskirts of this village the old man dismounted and pondered what to do to get approval. What is the right thing to do? Suddenly he felt he had the answer! ‘That’s it! You get up first kid and then I will sit behind you. This is a very young strong donkey he won’t mind if we both get a lift from him. ‘
Passing through the next village they encountered a whole different group of villagers who whispering loudly as they passed shared their distress at the ill treatment of the donkey! And the foolishness of the passengers…

‘Have you ever seen anything so stupid?
Making that donkey carry two able bodied men on it’s way to market! How could they hope to get the best price when it arrives dusty and exhausted? They should be carrying the donkey in a cart or something, so it would be in its finest condition for sale! What fools they are!’

The minute they were on the outskirts of this village, the old man slipped off the back of the donkey bringing the boy with him, he was deep in thought. Those people had a point too! I should have thought of that!
‘I know, we will dust off the donkey, then tie its feet together and carry it the rest of the way on a big pole, that way it will have a rest and look the better for it when we arrive at the market!’ said the old man to the young boy… who was just a little shocked at the idea of carrying the donkey… he didn’t really think he could do it! He knew he wasn’t big enough, or strong enough for such a task.

This seemed to have slipped the old mans mind in the excitement of approval seeking and surface problem solving.
The young boy did his best… and to tell the truth the donkey was too heavy for the old man too! He was no spring chicken! By the time they had struggled to the bridge with the donkey tied to the pole, they were gasping for breath and seeing the stars of low blood pressure (since they were poor and rarely got enough protein).
The donkey having had enough, chose this moment to try one last big wiggle to get free.
At this point the old man and the young boy lost complete control over the beast on the pole. In its panic to be free it had successfully thrown itself over the bridge and came crashing down on the rocks, dead and broken.
The old man and the young boy were flabbergasted! All their resources for the winter… gone. Who was responsible for this disaster?

*Was it the villagers with their constant criticism?
People will always criticize you… always know better, always have something to say….. this is where your power for discernment comes in. Discernment is different from judgment. Judgment holds emotional charge, that means what’s happening makes you angry or you feel powerless or hurt in someway (your self worth is challenged) and this is your response… discernment has no emotional charge, (your self worth is not challenged because you know who you are and you trust your plan) … it’s simply the best decision to make for success!

Which in this case may have been to wear ear plugs and change riders after each village so both would have a rest and the donkey would not be over worked before it arrived for sale…

*Or was it the old man for being available for that criticism because he had no strong mind or confidence of his own? Or because he wouldn’t admit he was already old and not able to carry the donkey? But wait a minute, didn’t he and his wife take in a homeless boy and commit their meager resources to his support, does this not have great and meaningful value to society as a whole?

Why is he stupid if he is just all heart?
We are trained to obey the rules of society, to listen to and participate in small talk and gossip! We are constantly pressured into agreement with the ‘group mind’. We want approval from the general public because they surrogate for our parents. The fourth commandment rules! We do our best to get approval from wherever it is available… with the resources we have available… until we have enough self confidence (self approval) that the approval of the group mind becomes secondary.

It is important that you realize this important fact… often overlooked by the critics… it is only from this process that the genius of the world is revealed and progress is achieved. If everyone agreed with the group mind constantly there would be no progress, no new music, no new art, no new ideas, there would be eventual brain numbing social boredom… sound familiar? Progress is slow!
*Is it the young boy?… he never spoke up and supported the old man in making the right choice. Did he even speak up and tell his own truth when he was incapable of carrying the donkey?                           

As human beings our greatest gift from the Divine is our ability to be independent thinkers. This is what makes us the most dangerous predator on earth! We like the comfort of the herd mentality, we like to go unnoticed, while we are sure we know ‘the truth… but cannot speak up’… because we have no self worth. With no self worth we fear our words go unnoticed or will bring derision from others and make us look stupid or weak… all this happens when you reveal your true feelings! With no self worth you cannot afford to step forward… you are literally too poor!

Self worth is connected to self respect, self love and self esteem. Respect, love, esteem, these are the qualities we offer an honored parent or The God Force, now you must shine those three lights upon yourself… Self Respect, Self Love and Self Esteem, these are the components of Self Worth, with them you can go any where and do anything! Because you are worthy in your own mind, which is indeed connected to the mind of God… which is connected to everything else… including the gossip mongering crowds that surround you daily…making your every thought a reality…. have a reality worthy of the power you hold to create what you really want… you are worth it!

The old man and the young boy could have said to the rest of the world (the villagers) I am on my own mission, I am doing it my own way, thank you for your advice however I have my own plan and my own purpose and you do not know everything about me or my kind friend who is helping me in my pursuit to survive in this hostile world!
Be sure to thank your world for kind thoughts… and allow all other stuff to fall to the ground as manure for the vegetable garden that will make you stronger tomorrow… Why? Because….this is the truth about you and me… remember to say this often to yourself so you can focus your intent and ignore the small stuff…
“…there is nothing more beautiful than that which dwells within me, The Godforce beyond all life, I give abundantly as I receive abundantly, The Living Spirit within all things, Hum-Sah, I am That!”
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Blessings to you all this Aries full moon. Wow! I guess we survived the battle it brought and now we will get on with picking up the pieces… Blazing tales of wonder, remembering all we have ever been and are about to become, your sister through chaos and comfort,
Riding the waves of changeShankari the Alchemist xxxxx

4 thoughts on “SELF WORTH, what the hell does that really mean?”

  1. Last night, standing at the termination of the path of light that the Full Moon cast across the waters of the Atlantic Ocean, I released to Her tender care, all that I had accepted as my reality, and been and done in the past year.
    I released it, not in anger at the way “I” had allowed it to turn me from my Path, but as fertile manure… a rich source of Energy that Divinity would take and remold into something new and wonderous!
    Nothing is ever wasted, you know, all serves its purpose and is then dissolved and reformed, like the butterfly within its cocoon!
    I too, have struggled with “standing in my own Power” for a long time, and never was it as apparent as it became this past year! I left a long time business, took a loan and openned another, because I thought that was what I was “supposed” to do next! Business was always so diffucult for me! I could never find the items that expressed the creativity I craved. Maybe moving from the internet to this brick and mortar would be what I needed! Actualy, I had sold ALOT of inventory (their creativity!), for others over the years but I was never richly rewarded for my efforts. How many times had I been told, “You should be selling your own items! You are so creative! You should be selling “You”!” But I never did… I had a great number of excuses, which I will not mention here. I am sure you need only listen for three minutes to your own inner dialog to know what they are! This resulted in years of struggle and culminated in the past years’ worth of lessons, presenting themselves in the form of people and circumstances, that ultimately led me to a crucial decision that I needed to follow my own heart, make my own decisions (and products!), honor and respect my-self, my creativity, my gifts, and stand firmly and resolutely on my own two, perfectly good feet, in my own Power!
    This I made a conscious decision to do. And performed an act of ritual last night, to accept the Crown of my own Creativity which I will never reliquish again!

  2. I loved the fable. What a reminder of how others seek to pull us down thru critcism or comments believing it’s for our own good; to be aware of their thinking – no matter how flawed. My hairdresser calls it “crabs in a pot” syndrome where others make sure you don’t get “higher” than them.

  3. What an inspiring fable. I once had “the love of my life” constantly trying to blame me for all the pain she felt. Amazing how she would yell, insult and blame me while telling me I was a negative person! Fact was, the more I became peaceful and let go of the drama, the more upset she got at me – accusing me of harboring resentment and not having the courage to face it. It is funny to think of it now, but at the time I was at a loss since I knew she was projecting her own pain onto me and there was nothing I could do but love and accept her in those moments. Meanwhile I watched the relationship deteriorate in her own eyes and mind. Looking back, I am thankful that she left, since I realized I was getting caught in the trap of self-abuse through the hands of someone else. As painful as it was at the time, I am so thankful, since her suffering deepended the compassion inside of me. Now I am with a wonderful and stable woman, full of compassion, wisdom, insight and understands what it means to be responsible for our feelings and experiences.

  4. Thanks for the fable and the insightful ‘solutions’ you offer for your audience to consider. Very helpful. Very timely.

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